I wrote this post about 2.5 years ago, its still so good, so had to reshare. My husband and I have been married going on 9 years in August! & we now have two boys, Blaise (6) & Braxsyn(1)! Braxsyn is a rainbow baby (read about it here)
My husband and I have been together since I was 15, and married for 6.5 years now. Our love story is coming soon, but this topic as been on my heart. I honestly didn’t feel 100% comfortable with sharing, but if it can help one marriage, that’s worth it to me. <3
Marriage can be so challenging, yet so rewarding! After all the studying I’ve done on how to have the “perfect marriage” I’ve come up with these 15 tips. Honestly, no marriage is perfect. We all have ups and downs, and that’s okay–its normal! God designed marriage, and marriage was designed to last. If you’re in a rough spot right now, I’ve been there before too–and it WILL GET BETTER, trust me!
It was a point when I felt like I shouldn’t be married, and I convinced myself that I wanted out. So during that time, I literally watched and listened to everything I can get my hands on about marriage. I listened to any sermon, podcast and read any Bible plan that I thought might give me an excuse to end my marriage—because I had no real excuse except that I felt unhappy.
Instead of finding an out for my marriage— I found hope, I found peace and a new purpose for my marriage. I was sure I married the “wrong person”, I was positive that my husband was the problem, and I was convinced that I was better off doing life alone. But during this journey, I learned so much about myself and my husband! I pray that this will help your marriage as well! Even if your marriage isn’t in trouble, this post can still help you. My goal is to have the healthiest marriage possible, and I want it to last forever.
The Tips
- Marriage takes THREE. You, your spouse and Jesus. Jesus is the KEY!
- Communication is the second most important thing after God. If you don’t have great communication, work on this daily. Learn to communicate effectively.
- Marriage is more of a commitment than it is about feelings. Marriage isn’t fairtales. & Chick flicks are not real. Instagram isn’t always real life. You’re seeing the “highs” of people lives. & what you thought marriage was, it isn’t none of that. So throw your unrealistic expectations out the door. Stop comparing your marriages to others (it causes tension. And belittling). Be thankful for your spouse–because believe it or not–God created them with you in mind.
- It is not your spouses job to make you happy. Your spouse will not fulfill you 100%. They weren’t created to. Your spouse cannot fill your voids. That’s God’s purpose. Happiness comes from within, and we get our joy from the Lord.
- Love is patient. Love doesn’t seek to control. You cannot control your spouse. You can’t change your spouse. Stop nagging. 1 Peter 3:1-2
- Apologize when you are wrong!! Read that again.
- Marriage is not about you–don’t be selfish. Two are better than one. Ecclesiates 4:9.
- Forgiveness is the key. Don’t bring up the past. Once you decide to forgive, that’s it. You can’t bring it up because you’re hurt or feeling a certain way. Don’t go to bed angry.
- We are flawed. It’s our nature. We were created that way. Your spouse has flaws and so do you. It’s so easy to point out others issues but not your own.
- Realize that good relationships take time, effort, and investment. You have to give your marriage time to grow. & remember to focus on the good. Trials are necessary! John 8:12 (One thing I have to remind myself of often, is that Jesus had trials in life, so what makes you think you won’t.)
- Just throw the D word away. Take it out of your vocabulary. Remove the demonic thoughts out your head. “I made a mistake, I should’ve married someone else, I’m miserable” Guess what, you will still have problems in the next marriage, and they might even be worst. Your battle isn’t with your spouse, the enemy wants to destroy marriages.
- You and your spouse are not the same. None of us are created to be the same. God made us in his own image. Learn your spouse love language.
- Realize how much power you have. As women we have so much power with prayer. USE YOUR WEAPON SIS, or bro if you’re reading this!
- Submission. Ugh how I hated that word. Submit to your husband. Not because of what he’s doing right, but because it’s demanded by God. “My husband isn’t acting like …blah blah” submit to your husband and honor for what you want him to be. Honor him, and watch how God changes him.
- Don’t be petty. Choose your battles. Not everything requires an argument. Everything that comes to your mind doesn’t have to be verbalized. You do NOT have to address EVERYTHING.
My growing faith did NOT just come up with those wise words on my own. I used so many resources to help me realize these things! I encourage you to use the resources as well!
Resources
Bible app plans:
1. David & Tamela Mann | Us against the world
2. How to forgive someone who hurt you deeply
3. Marriage crisis
YouTube Sermons (highly suggested)
1. Hungry generation : Flight like a Pro Part 2 & Spiritual warfare in marriage
2. Transformation Church : Major keys to marriage | Relationship goals part 4
Podcast
Life with the Lindsey’s : 10 things we learned in 10 years
Let me know in the comments below if this helped your marriage or if you will apply these tips to your marriage! <3